Embracing the Lulls of Freelance Life

I didn’t choose to be a freelancer. The freelance life found me when a merger and outsourcing led to a layoff. After years of relying on regular, full-time work, I suddenly had to fend for myself. Many of you can relate to that situation, and some may relate to the almost crippling fear that may accompany such a change.

I was living in Vermont then, and loving it, so the idea of moving where the work was did not appeal to me. But, as luck would have it, I immediately found a contract spot with a development company I’d worked with previously, commuting a couple days each week and working at home the rest.

I tried to adjust to the ebb and flow of the work, but found that my underlying fear about the lack of work sometimes led me to take on more than I should. I managed, but I worked way too many hours, and my quality of life suffered. I picture myself during this time hunched over and wearing blinders. It seemed as if I was focused on imminent tasks, but in reality, I was frantic about future work. I was running on fear, not faith.

I spent a year and a half working exclusively for that company, and just when I started to get comfortable (be careful thinking like that with a creative universe at work!), without warning, that workflow was disrupted and I was told I’d be without projects for several weeks. Lack of work had provoked panic in the past, but by this time, I felt secure in finding other work and believed that all things happened for a reason. My heart was open to the prospect of change and the possibilities it might bring.

The Gift of Time

What had happened? I had been mediating for a while by now, and I perceived this disruption as a gift of time. I decided to take a break and play. That was a revolutionary decision for a workhorse like me! I would get some much-needed R&R, and I’d spend some time setting up my business to attract other clients. 

With no immediate income to rely on, I took another leap of faith and opted to spend $1,500 on a 12-week self-awareness course. A window had opened, and I would let life and possibility waft over me and carry me. This course took my meditation practice to a new level. It was very unlike me simply to trust that the work and income would follow, but I did, and doing so gave me the freedom to invest in myself. Having mindfulness and meditation served as an anchor for how I approached my life and my work.

The shifts in thinking were liberating! An example of a new outlook was realizing that job interviews were as much an opportunity for me to study potential employers as it was for them to study me. That might go without saying for some, but it was an aha moment for me. The idea of partnership filled the space where fear used to live.

My Business Grows as I Grow

Over the last few years, I’ve added new services and markets to my editorial ventures, and I’ve allowed room in my life for, well, more life. I find more time to experience life, and I’m developing a new attitude for embracing the kind of projects that find me. It’s such a gift to let loose of fear and open my heart and mind to abundance.

These are some ways meditation, sometimes just remembering to breathe very deeply for a few moments, has allowed me to change and grow in confidence in my freelancing role. I’ll leave you with this thought by Carl Jung:

"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.
Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."